Shaun of the Dead (2004)

Tagline: It’s just one of those days when you’re feeling a little...dead.

Curiosity: It’s a zom-rom-com. SAY IT! SAY IT!

Plot: Shaun (Simon Pegg) is stuck in a rut. His girlfriend Liz (Kate Ashfield) is looking for any sign of commitment from him, whether it be a proposal, an invitation to meet his mother, or just a good date. Shaun fails at all three, gets dumped, and takes solace in the arms of best friend and fellow slacker Ed (Nick Frost). A couple dozen pints helps ease the pain of his break-up, dead end retail job, anal retentive roommate Pete (Peter Serafinowicz; also I’d like to point out that in the U.K. he’d be called a “flatmate,” which has a nice ring to it), and general lack of direction. Also, it keeps him from realizing there’s a full-on zombie attack going down all over England. Spurred by Ed’s lackadaisical approach to the outbreak, Shaun decides to take action, save his loved ones, and maybe even hole up in his favorite pub for a pint. Jokes and pop cultural references abound.

Thoughts: Like most Americans, I was first introduced to the wonderful work of Pegg, Frost, and director/co-writer Edgar Wright through Shaun of the Dead. Hot Fuzz confirmed that this was a trio to watch, and the stateside release of their show Spaced a couple of years later brought my interest to Man-Crush-ter, U.K. (with a space set aside for co-creator/writer/star/lady Jessica Hynes, who also stars here as the peppy zombie basher Yvonne). I loved Shaun of the Dead the first time I saw it and, having now seen Spaced, I love it even more. Wright and Pegg are very reference-heavy in their work in two regards: They’re OK with showing their influences and they’re especially OK with employing their friends. Most of the core players from Spaced show up (along with folks from The Office, Black Books, and, uh, Coldplay), my favorite of which is Michael Smiley, who seems to reprise his Spaced role of Tyres as zombie. It’s a passing bit that doesn’t distract from the story – it’s one guy in a one-second shot of a crowd of zombies – but anyone familiar with Tyres’ crazy disposition will get a kick out of his appearance. Heck, I’m not even sure if he’s really a zombie, or just on some good drugs.

But putting aside my love for Spaced’s team, Shaun of the Dead is still an excellent horror film and an excellent comedy. It’s a fine line to walk, and the film does come off as a fine amalgamation without getting too dark. There’s gore galore and more than one Romero reference (“We’re coming to get you, Barbara!”). But there’s also a fine rom-com relationship between Shaun and Liz. Secondary players Penelope Wilton and Bill Nighy bring emotional weight to the film as Shaun’s reserved yet loving parents. And Wright’s camerawork is amazing; although I’m sure he could rattle off at least 10 directors he ripped off (John Carpenter and Sam Raimi are mentioned as key influences in the DVD commentary). He is very much a student of film, and his reverence only emboldens his work. Though modest in interviews, Wright took technical lessons from the “Evil Dead Trilogy” and then used them to make his own art.

Reflection: Pegg is so clearly proud of his Bub impression, which makes it twice as cute. Also, I’m bummed that weather and budget constraints forced Wright and Pegg to cut Aida the dog’s scene.

Drag Me to Hell (2009)

Tagline: Christine Brown has a good job, a great boyfriend, and a bright future. But in three days, she's going to hell.

Curiosity: Sam Raimi made the “Evil Dead Trilogy” and Dark Man. If he says he wants to make a horror movie, I’m on board.

Plot: After an opening scene of what happens when you cross gypsies (r.e. – being physically dragged to a hell-like location), viewers are introduced to Christine (Alison Lohman), a young loan officer on track for a promotion at her bank’s branch. She’s smart, she’s nice, and she’s got a solid boyfriend in Clay (Justin Long). Also, she denies a gypsy woman, Sylvia Ganush (Lorna Raver, who totally nails this role), a third extension on her mortgage. This is a bad idea, as gypsies will apparently rip out your lungs if you so much as toot. Ganush decides that, instead of seeking aid from her family, she’ll just send Christine to hell.

BUT FIRST THERE IS THE BEST GERIATRIC FIGHT SCENE EVER.

Anyway, Christine has three days to save her soul.

Thoughts: Sam Raimi and his brother Ivan are cool dudes, and masters of the horror/comedy genre mash-up to boot. Drag Me to Hell was intentionally written as a PG-13 flick, an idea that ended up giving the pair so much more to work with. The film isn’t particularly bloody, but it’s got far more disgusting items likes “scary old lady bug vomit.” Lohman and Raver’s fight scenes are incredible, at turns gross and hilarious. The film is further bolstered by turns from Long and Dileep Rao as the psychic Rham Jas.

Drag Me to Hell rules on every level. Chris Young’s score highlights each scene perfectly. The sound team, headed by Ulrika Akander, emphasizes the most unsettling elements, especially where Ganush is concerned. Each smack of her gums and drumming of her fingernails maximizes discomfort. The special effects are straight up awesome, and there tons of things I never would have guessed were faked if not for the DVD’s special features. In order to achieve better lightning for the séance scene, for example, shooting was done without a roof for the room, and it was later added in with CGI. The car fight was shot in what was called the “puzzle car.” Crew members could break off whatever they needed in seconds in order to get the best angles. Drag Me to Hell also boasts the most realistic goat puppet I’ve ever seen.

Also they made a puppet version of Ganush for the sole purpose of shooting maggots into Lohman’s mouth. Now that’s dedication to your craft.

Reflection: I’m finally over Spider-man 3.

A Disney Halloween (1983)

Tagline: N/A

Curiosity: I used to love Disney’s Halloween special when I was a kid. Plus, I wanted to throw Nick Elmer another bone.

Plot: A Disney Halloween is a 90-minute anthology of Disney clips, itself being a combination of the Disney’s Halloween Treat and Disney’s Greatest Villains specials.

Thoughts: Wow, sometimes childhood memories are best left as such. A Disney Halloween suffers greatly from a lack of, well, Halloween-ness. The clip show starts out strong with shots from Disneyland’s Haunted Mansion ride and a revised version of “The Skeleton Dance.” Here’s the original:

That’s followed by one of my favorite selections from Fantasia, “Night on Bald Mountain”:

So that’s good. And then the special starts to eat poop. The series gets further and further from its Halloween theme, eventually becoming merely a celebration of Disney’s villains. And while it’s cool seeing the battle between Maleficent and Prince Phillip from Sleeping Beauty – scariest/coolest monster sequence Disney ever produced – the inclusion of Greatest Villains seems baffling. There’s no thematic reason for including Captain Hook or Kaa from The Jungle Book.

The special gets back to the point at its end with two spooky shorts, one in which Mickey Mouse, Goofy, and Donald Duck do battle with ghosts, and one in which Donald tries to blow up his nephews Huey, Dewey, and Louie on Halloween. Because Donald can be a dick like that. But by that point, who cares? The special wastes a lot of time on non-demon-y things. This edition of family entertainment would greatly benefit from more Satanism.

Reflection: I can’t wait for the Fantasia re-releases.

Where the Wild Things Are (2009)

Tagline: There’s one in all of us.

Plot: Max (The perfectly, improbably named Max Records) is a bat shit insane terror of a child. After killing his dog with his bare hands, he starts a snowball fight that goes poorly and cockblocks his mom (Catherine Keener). After nearly killing his mother in a fit of cannibalistic rage, Max steals a boat and hightails it to a mysterious island, home of the Bipolar Things. There, he befriends a monster named Carol (voiced by James Gandolfini, Surviving Christmas) and his cohorts. He bullshits his way to the top, forcing the locals into a sort of socially mandated slavery so they will build him his own Death Star, a fortress capable of cutting out peoples’ brains.

Thoughts: The more I think about it, the more I dislike Where the Bipolar Things Are. I’m generally OK with film adaptations of books that change the source material, as long as they capture the spirit of the original. Given that author Maurice Sendak’s book could be written word for word on a napkin, with space for an illustration or two, I’m a little less forgiving in that regard. What director Spike Jonze and co-writer Dave Eggers did here was force a Garden State sensibility on to Where the Wild Things Are. You’ve got the indie soundtrack, a love interest with oh so adorable quirks, and a cast of characters that would greatly benefit from therapy and mood-altering medications (Plus both films ignore the main characters’ real problem, which is getting along with their respective parents). The film briefly captures the manic energy of childhood in all its best and worst moments, but mostly settles into a groove of people just grating on each other all the time.

What bothers me more is that the story takes a positive message (Imagination can’t fix everything; you need to deal with your life) and mangles the delivery into something far less uplifting (It’s OK to leave your friends once you get sick of their shit). Sure, there are positives: Jonze’s cinematography is characteristically dazzling, the Bipolar Things look great overall, and the cast is pretty solid, with Records and Gandolfini standing out. But the parts don’t compensate for the tone of the story, which boils down to “Life sucks, deal with it, and don’t bite your mother.” Sure, the film is emotionally affecting at times, but so are Up and Coraline, two family friendly flicks from 2009 that beat this movie on every level, from story to pacing to music to visuals.

Reflection: I’m so glad my childhood consisted of Masters of the Universe and Sega Genesis.

Haute Tension (2003)

Tagline: Hearts will bleed.

Curiosity: At this point, I feel like I owe Scott a royalty check.

Plot: BFFs Marie (Cécile de France) and Alex (Maïwenn Le Besco) visit Alex’s family on their farm in rural France. Her parents are nice, and her brother has an adorable cowboy costume. THEIR LIVES ARE GREAT. Elsewhere, a burly man (Philippe Nahon) gets a blowjob from a severed head. HIS LIFE IS GREAT. Then their paths intersect when the man, known only as The Killer, slaughters Alex’s family and kidnaps her. It’s up to BFF Marie (and those who’ve seen the movie know how much I stress Marie’s love for Alex) to rescue her bud, stop the killer, and get out in one piece.

Thoughts: Holy bejeebits, this movie is intense. Director/co-writer Alexandre Aja, co-writer Grégory Levasseur, and make-up artist Giannetto De Rossi (Zombi, Dune, and motha-lickin’ Dragonheart ya’ll) rarely flinch in their depiction of The Killer’s depraved hyper-murders. Throats are slit, hands are cut off, kindly gas station attendants are axed for grabbing the wrong alcoholic beverage. There are buckets of blood galore. De Rossi’s effects are incredible, made all the most amazing since he was pretty much on his own during filming.

It’s kind of weird watching Aja talk about the film as if it isn’t extremely bloody, but he does have a valid point when he talks about Haute Tension: A good chunk of the film is also about the anticipation and terror that comes with waiting for The Killer’s next move. We know from the opening scene that Marie makes it out alive, but the score and shots make you forget that tidbit as she alternately hides and follows The Killer (or Le Tueur if you wanna be classy/French about it). The title translates to High Tension, which is the perfect title.

Much has been made of the recent “torture porn” label for horror movies, films that go to great lengths to degrade the human body without much substance. I’m not going to pretend Haute Tension is some sort of high art psychological commentary or something, but it’s still fair better than critics claimed to be at the film’s time of release. There’s a cohesive plot and a pretty good twist. As far as scary stories go, it’s better than average, with a stellar cast and crew to push it up as one of the best horror movies of the decade.

Reflection: “Blowjob from a severed head.”

Hocus Pocus (1993)

Tagline: It’s just a bunch of Hocus Pocus!

Curiosity: This was one of my favorite films as a kid, and as it turns out, this movie was way more effed up than I realized back in ’93. Also my friend Nick asked me to take a break from all the horror movies because he is afraid of shadows and loud noises. So, this one’s for you, ya wuss.

Plot: The Sanderson sisters – Winifred (Bette Midler), Sarah (Sarah Jessica Parker), and Mary (Kathy Najimy) – are witches living in Salem, Mass. during the 1600s. As you might imagine, they’re not very popular, though they do manage to DEVOUR THE LIFE FORCE of a little girl and turn her brother, Thackery Binx (played by Sean Murray, but voiced by Jason Marsden, because that guy has been in every Disney project from the last like 20 years so why not?), into an immortal cat. Turns out kid-icide is frowned upon in the New World, and the sisters are hanged. They swear they’ll come back for revenge when a virgin lights “the Black Candle.” Given that they don’t struggle against their nooses, I’m assuming their necks were broken and they died instantly (Like all of the best family entertainment, Hocus Pocus is surprisingly fucked up).

Fast-forward to 1993. California transplant Max (Eerie, Indiana’s Omri Katz) hates living on the East coast, although he does have a thing for classmate Allison (The Hills Have Eyes’ Vinessa Shaw). Like most Californians, Max thinks the rest of America blows chunks, so much so that he acts like a total dick to his sister Dani (a very young Thora Birch, who went on to make seminal flicks like Ghost World and American Beauty) over trick or treating for Halloween! Unbelievable. Anyway, Max begrudgingly takes Dani out, she talks to Allison about her “yabbos,” and the three explore the Sanderson sisters’ house.

This is where bad things occur. See, Max, like Nimrod and Icarus before him, decides to mess with things he doesn’t fully comprehend. By which I mean, he lights the Black Candle because he thinks he’s a badass, thereby resurrecting the Sanderson sisters for one night, All Hallow’s Eve. They renew their interest in eating kids, the kids try to fight back with the help of Binx the cat, and their parents totally don’t understand. Bummer!

Also, there are two song sequences.

Thoughts: Hocus Pocus has an awful lot of sex jokes for a Disney film. My favorite:

Winifred Sanderson: We desire... children.
Bus Driver: Hey, it may take me a couple of tries, but I don't think there will be a problem.

Ewwwwww. My other favorite moment comes when Allison, in a disturbingly random gesture, decides that the only way to beat the witches is to set them on fire. This is a thought which she follows through to its logical, burning conclusion. I should mention that Allison is arguably the most resourceful character in the film and gets the most done.

Which brings me to another point: Max is dangerously idiotic. He reminds me of Danny Madigan from Last Action Hero, in that he’s essential to kicking off the story, but completely useless in resolving it and annoying as heck along the way.

Final thought: I had no idea that this movie bombed when I was a kid. My family and I have seen it probably close to 100 times, and it never dawned on me that people hated this movie. I mean, it’s about witches and Halloween and adolescence! How cool is that? And it definitely never occurred to me that Hocus Pocus could be a cult film until Wikipedia posited the idea to me. But I think that’s what makes a cult film – something that a select few understand and love on its own terms. It doesn’t have to be exceptionally weird and it doesn’t have to try hard to achieve its cult status, or at it shouldn’t. It just has to be, man. Which I supposed means Hocus Pocus is one of the most genuine artistic statements of all time.

Reflection: I think “yabbos” means “boobs.”

Prince of Darkness (1987)

Tagline: Where are you...? Christ?

Curiosity: I’m a big John Carpenter fan, at least where his ’80s work is considered.

Plot: A priest (Carpenter regular Donald Pleasance) invites a research team led by Professor Howard Birack (Victor Wong, another regular) to evaluate a mysterious canister found in an abandoned Los Angeles church. See, it contains a swirling green liquid that just might be sentient. And the Anti-Christ. The team translates an old text found with the canister and performs experiments on the liquid. That doesn’t go so well, as the liquid begins possessing the scientists one by one. Unable to escape, as the building is surrounded by a group of homicidal hobos (led by Alice Cooper!), the group has no choice but to surge ahead.

Thoughts: Allegedly the second installment of writer/director/composer Carpenter’s “Apocalypse Trilogy” that began with the fair superior The Thing, Prince of Darkness takes what was so great about the that film (Who can we trust? We’re all alone! How powerful are the aliens?) and waters it down. Distance and elemental forces cut off the characters in The Thing; in Prince of Darkness, it’s more a matter of not knowing when to walk around the city (I recommend during the day). While Carpenter approaches the story with some interesting ideas (God and Satan, or “Anti-God,” are aliens, we need to save the future, etc.), the story gets too bogged down in faux-science, while the film’s ultimate climax – a battle of wills and wits with the Anti-Christ – doesn’t really go anywhere. Creepier still is the way the Anti-Christ possesses people – via bukake:

And while Carpenter has written some rememorizing scores (Halloween’s theme is a classic), his keyboard cuts here are so simple and lame that they border on ridiculous.

Still, it’s fun to play “spot the friend.” Carpenter loved bringing back actors from previous films – there’s Dennis Dun from Big Trouble in Little China, and Peter Jason from They Live. And the make-up for the Anti-Christ is pretty dang creepy.

Reflection: I might have enjoyed this more if I hadn’t just watched the super awesome Paranormal Activity.