Creepshow 2 (1987)

Tagline: When the curtain goes up the terror begins.

Curiosity: It’s a sequel to a much beloved horror film.

Plot: A kid loves Creepshow comic books, so much so that he turns into a cartoon or some shit! While reading a trio of terrifying tales, he also seeks revenge on a gang of bullies!

Thoughts: Creepshow 2 is both superior and inferior to its predecessor. It moves along faster, and its 90-minute running time is a little easier to handle. Much as I love Creepshow, it was a little uneven. Creepshow 2’s stories are all solid, even though there are only three of them this time out. “Old Chief Woodenhead,” about a wooden Native American chief who takes revenge on a some robbers who killed his owner, is a little cheesy, but it packs genuine pathos. “The Raft” used to scare the shit out of me as a kid, and it feels a little too short to me now, it’s still my favorite segment.

“The Raft” has a typical horror movie setup: Four sexy teens go out into the woods to have sexy times, and end up murderized instead. Out in the middle of a lake, they encounter this strange, oil slick-like creature. When it starts devouring the teens one by one, well, shit gets real, until all that’s left is this one guy who’s a total wiener. He gets his comeuppance though.

“The Hitchiker” is the final segment, in which a two-timing wife (Lois Chiles) hits a drifter (Tom Wright) with her car and leaves him for dead… or so she thinks. While its gimmick is a little repetitive (“THANKS FOR THE RIDE LADY!”), it comes closest to recapturing the manic insanity of the original.

George A. Romero, who directed the original, scripted this go-round, and he makes the Tales From the Crypt homage much more apparent by adding a Cryptkeeper-esque host called the Creep, played by Tom Savini and voiced by Joe Silver. The Creep is the only element of the film I don’t like. He’s poorly animated, and the prosthetics used to render him in three dimensions look a little garish for the suburbs. Still, though, Creepshow 2 still delivers plenty of fun for all the ghouls and boils.

Reflection: HEY. HEY LADY. THANKS FOR THE RIDE LADY. THANKS FOR THE RIDE.