Tuesday, March 9, 2010

The Neverending Story III: Escape From Fantasia (1994-1996)

Tagline: It’s a brand new beginning in the adventure that never ends.


Curiosity: Well, I wanted to see this clip in context:




Plot: Bastian (Now played by Jason James Richter, star of the Free Willy trilogy!) is going through some more rough changes. His pop (Kevin McNulty) remarried, and his new stepsister Nicole (Melody Kay) is a cunt. Like a raging, burning, just terrible cunt who also listens to the Batman Forever soundtrack and writes thoroughly bad songs about her daddy issues. On his first day at his new school, Bastian manages to get the school bullies, nicknamed the Nasties, expelled. This doesn’t sit too well with Nasty leader Slip (Jack Black! I know!). When Bastian gives Slip the slip by slipping into Fantasia, the Nasties take control of The NeverEnding Story and make a mockery of my fucking childhood, got-dammit. Now Bastian has to save two worlds – Fantasia and his own. Oh nos!


Thoughts: …and I thought The Next Chapter hurt. Escape From Fantasia takes everything good and delightful about the original film and plops a big ol’ turd on it. While Richter is better in the Bastian role than Johnathan Brandis, he gets stuck with so many annoying characters (Nicole, Rock Biter’s possibly mentally retarded son Junior) that he sinks. Characters that used to rock so hard, like Falkor, get turned into total wieners. Wieners!


The lone standout in this mess is Jack Black, who does a great job as the villainous Slip. In a rare move, Black actually doesn’t go over the top in a role, often playing Slip as a quiet psychopath, lending the film some much-needed edge. Otherwise, we’re treated to countless scenes of Junior makin’ a mess ‘a’ things. Fuck that giant rock-baby.


What the film could’ve used was… well, copious changes. Atreyu is sorely missed on this outing. The Childlike Empress (Julie Cox) gets turned into a ditz for some reason. The gnomes Engywook (Tony Robinson) and Urgl (Moya Brady) from the original film spend the majority of this one trying to poop. Seriously, that’s their subplot – they have to poop, and inconvenient mishaps prevent them from pooping. Ugh. What a sad, stupid finale to such a promising story.


Reflection: At least I only paid $0.10 for my VHS copy. Now to burn it in a cleansing fire.

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