Brainscan (1994)

Tagline: Wanna play? I dare you.

Curiosity: Frank Langella played Skeletor in Masters of the Universe, so he gets a lifetime pass from me. Plus, I always wondered what else Edward Furlong did with his life.

Plot: Jaded, insultingly wealthy gamer Michael (Furlong) checks out a new video game that hypnotizes players into thinking what they play is real. The first level, in which Michael kills a dude and cuts off his foot, looks so real… BECAUSE IT IS REAL DEAR GOD. An otherwordly Primus fan named Trickster (T. Ryder Smith, who went to voice Baron Ünderbheit in the excellent Venture Bros. cartoon) comes out of Michael’s TV and forces him to kill, kill, kill. Will Michael be able to stop Trickster? Can he save himself from Detective Hayden’s (Langella) investigation? More importantly, will he talk to the girl he likes (Amy Hargreaves)?

Thoughts: Welp, this is the first time I watched a movie specifically for this blog and not just because it was hilariously bad/awesome. Brainscan isn’t particularly good. Langella doesn’t get to do much here. Given that the movie is ultimately a sermon against horror films and those damn video games, maybe that’s for the best. Gore is on the cheap side, if it appears at all. As it turns out, Brainscan heavily favors telling over showing. I’m pretty sure the filmmakers blew their budget on Trickster’s first scene.

What the movie does offer in abundance, however, is Furlong being a whiny little bitch. Dude’s room takes up a whole floor. He has his own refrigerator! He can drink soda whenever he wants to! He owns a ton of movies and video games and his computer talks to him! Man, I wish technology worked like it did in the movies. Brainscan promised me a world where phones are intelligent but Star 69 doesn’t exist. Getting back to Furlong, his character could’ve cut the film’s 96-minute running time in half if he had turned himself in. Or stopped playing that game that made him kill people. Here’s a typical scene:

Michael: I can’t talk to girls. Also, a video game totally made me kill a guy. In response, I’m going to play the game again and kill again and feel bad about it again.

The film coasts on Furlong’s ability to piss himself. Also he cuddles a severed foot.

Reflection: I had to take a break from this movie so I could sleep off some of the pain. I could’ve been reading Harriet Doerr’s Consider This, Señora.