The A-Team (2010)

Tagline: There is no Plan B.

Curiosity: It’s a remake… errrrrr, re-imagining of a popular TV series which I have never seen. Look, it has Liam Neeson, OK?

Plot: A crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... The A-Team.

Thoughts: The A-Team, or, if you prefer, Yelling Explosions Forever, is better than it has any right to be. It’s by no means perfect, but compared to other TV-to-movie adaptations, it manages to get all the points right. Hannibal (Neeson) smokes cigars and loves it when plans come together. B.A. (Quinton “Rampage” Jackson) has a Mohawk and pities fools. The other two guys (Midnight Meat Train’s Bradley Cooper, Sharlto Copley) do whatever the hell they did on the show. And just like in the original program, the bad guys can’t shoot for shit.

The movie surrounding those things just isn’t quite as good. The special effects are often lacking, and it’s never good when a film that reportedly cost $110 million looks this cheap. The story often gets a bit convoluted for a movie that’s primarily concerned with explosions and male wish fulfillment. Product placement for Budweiser is obnoxiously prevalent (Raise your hand if you have traveled to Europe in search of a Bud. Anyone? Anyone?) And I’d criticize Jackon’s acting chops if I wasn’t pants-shittingly afraid of him beating my ass (OK here goes: Dude mumbles a lot). Scenes often come down to dudes screaming at each other. Sometimes it’s funny; something’s it’s grating. Overall, though, not the worst way to spend my Monday night.

Reflection: Yo, I’d make out with Bradley Cooper. That dude’s chest is scrumptious.