Splice (2010)

Tagline: The future is born.

Curiosity: Vincenzo Natali directed the cult sci-fi hit Cube and one of the shorts for Paris je t’aime. Dude’s credit is good with me.

Plot: Clive (Adrien Brody) and Elsa (Avonlea’s Sarah Polley holy crap) are scientists who do sciencey things, like genetically engineer new animals so they can harvest their proteins for a pharmaceutical company. When the lovers try to take their experiments to the next stage – using human DNA – the higher ups forbid it. They do it anyway, though, and create Dren (Delphine Chanéac), a human/kangaroo/frogs/whatever else hybrid. And for reasons never explained, she has a poison stinger tail! Keeping Dren a secret gets harder as she grows up, especially when she starts making googly eyes towards Clive.

Thoughts: I’m just drop a big ol’ spoiler here in all caps: INTERSPECIES EROTICA. Spliced has elements of Alien, Species, The Fly, and of course Frankenstein (ALSO, Jurassic Park, but I can’t tell you why). Because it recalls so many classics, Natali overreaches in his attempt to do something original. Sometimes that works, like when he throws some comedy into the sci-fi/horror blend. Sometimes that results in his characters doing things that are really fucking gross and uncharacteristic, like when they engage in INTERSPECIES EROTICA.

I mean, I like the principle cast. Brody is good, if a little too idiosyncratically New York-y compared to all the Canadians. Polley displays incredible range¸ switching from cold and clinical to loving and motherly (and vice-versa) in seconds (Also, she was on Avonlea! That show was so much more family-friendly than this!).

But about halfway through, the movie starts to go places I don’t want to visit. I was raised Catholic, man; I can’t deal with INTERSPECIES EROTICA. My girlfriend and I actually walked out after a thoroughly disturbing scene. I’d write about it, but it’s like the second-to-last scene. We really should have left sooner. We could have been fighting dinosaurs in Jurassic Park III in the arcade!

Reflection: INTERSPECIES EROTICA.