D3: The Mighty Ducks (1996)

Tagline: No Fear. No Limits. No Brakes. Just Ducks.

Curiosity: This film made me so got-damn angry when I was a kid. SO. ANGRY.

Plot: Charlie (Joshua Jackson) and some of the other Ducks are awarded full scholarships to the prestigious Eden Hall Academy (yeah, even the ones who don’t live in Minnesota). Gordon Bombay (Emilio Estevez), meanwhile, has accepted a job with the Junior Goodwill Games, marking the first time in four years that the Ducks will have to work with a new coach. Coach Ted Orion (Jeffrey Nordling) is kind of a dick – harsh but fair. The Ducks refuse to take any of his criticisms, though, especially once the varsity hockey team starts a war with them.

Growing up is a bitch.

Thoughts: While I certainly didn’t feel this way at the time of its release, I prefer D3 to D2. D2 was all about spectacle without realism, where D3 is about growing up, accepting change, and learning how to play good defense. The film centers on Charlie, and he is clearly the stand-in for Mighty Ducks fans everywhere. Of course Charlie would freak out when Bombay moved away. So did I. Of course he would lose his shit when Hans (Joss Ackland) died. So did I. Of course he’d wanna make out the metal-loving, politically active Linda (Margot Finley). She inexplicably likes Pantera!

D3 isn’t a perfect movie. It’s heavily reliant on voiceovers (the laziest form of storytelling in movies). It’s not a particularly funny movie. In trying to clean up D2’s mess, it has to make certain allowances, like having the entire team move to Minnesota to go to high school in order to further the characters. Most of D2’s lamest elements (the duck call, knuckle puck, that fucking cowboy) are either toned down or removed altogether in favor of a slobs vs. snobs story.

What really matters is the film’s main ideas about what it means to grow up. Friends will come and go. They’ll move away. They’ll die. They’ll fade away. But you have to hold on to what they meant to you in the moments when you were together, and in that sense they’re still alive and present. Let go, but hold on to what you need.

Reflection: HANS! HANS NO!