White Zombie (1932)

Tagline: The dead walk among us!

Curiosity: Dude, “More Human Than Human” was totally awesome.

Plot: Neil Parker (John Harron) and Madeleine Short (Madge Bellamy) are due to be married in Haiti. During a carriage ride, they are attacked by zombies. Since Night of the Living Dead was still like 36 years away, though, Parker and Short have no idea what a zombie is. Still, they take their driver’s advice (Clarence Muse) and skee-daddle:

Which is prolly for the best. I’d be freaked out if I saw this guy on the street:

The couple eventually makes it to their point o’ destination, the home of their friend Charles Beaumont (Robert W. Frazer). Only things aren’t so safe because Beaumont loves Madeleine so much that it makes him stupid. So stupid that he consults sugar mill owner/zombie lord “Murder” Legendre (Bela Lugosi) for help in sweeping her off her engaged feet. Well, the witch doctor tells him what to do. He says, “Ooh eeh ooh ah ah, ting tang, walla walla kill her.” Beaumont is all like, “NooooOK, I guess.” He slips Madeleine a potion, she dies, and then Murder resurrects her as a zombie using voodoo. This guy is evil. So evil that his name is Murder fucking Legendre. This guy isn’t a softy for children, but vultures!

So then Neil is all like, “My name is Neil and my wife died after like five minutes of marriage. I call shenanigans!” Eventually, word gets out that Murder may have actually lived up to his nickname by helping murder Madeleine. A not-so-epic battle ensues for Madeleine’s soul.

Thoughts: Thank goodness this movie was free (no, thank you, public domain). The film’s audio track has not held up well, as scritchity scratchiness is the predominant sound throughout White Zombie. Still, it was kind of fun watching Bela Lugosi with facial hair – and just a year after his career-making/killing turn in Dracula. And the shots of zombie factory workers were priceless. Still, I was never much of a voodoo chile; I prefer my zombies to eat brains.

Reflection: I think this might have actually been worse than Plan 9 From Outer Space.