The Marine 2 (2009)

Tagline: A trip to paradise became a mission only a marine could handle.

Curiosity: It’s a direct-to-DVD sequel to the greatest film of the Aughties.

Plot: Joe Linwood (Ted DiBiase Jr.) is out doing typical Marine work, like killing drug cartel terrorist puppy-haters dead, when he kinda maybe sorta gets a kid blown up. Always the selfless gentleman soldier, Linwood succeeds in shooting bad guys a bunch of times, thinking about the dead kid like once, and then taking a vacation with his wife Robin (Lara Cox). But then – TWIST!!! – terrorists take over the hotel they’re staying at and kidnap Robin. Utilizing his Marine instincts – and a few tips from island local Church (Michael Rooker) – Linwood just might shoot some more bad guys.

Thoughts: Unlike its predecessor, The Marine 2 is a film I appreciate more in theory. It’s more cerebral, if you prefer (not unlike original Marine star John Cena’s follow-up, 12 Rounds). It’s also hard watching the sequel without thinking about what Marine director John Bonito would’ve done. Both films open with a prologue of their respective Marines out and about, but where the original cuts to the chase (literally) ASAP, with violence and humor along the way, The Marine 2 dawdles, first by focusing way too much on that dead kid from the beginning. Let’s be clear; killing kids sucks, but director Roel Reiné (who’s helming the Death Race sequel) lingers on the corpse and then never comes back to it. Not to get all movie critic-y, but the prologue has jack shit to do with the rest of the story. The incident with the kid never affects Linwood during the main story, nor does he reuse any of the fighting skills exhibited. The prologue offers his abilities as a sniper; the main story highlights him as a hand-to-hand combatant. Clumsy line readings and "Inspired by a true story" taglines don't help.

But the film does have some strengths. I won’t say I prefer them to The Marine overall, but The Marine 2 possesses enough redeeming qualities for me to justify owning it. DiBiase 2.0 is by no means a master thespian, but he gets way more to do than Cena, both in terms of dialogue and action. Cena was good for some wrestling moves; DiBiase actually engages in decently long takes of martial arts. Sure, those fight scenes are a little sloppy, but DiBiase still holds his own and even kicks a guy’s head through a wall. After watching the behind-the-scenes featurettes, I now know that he really did that too (no, thank you, Thailand). Much like Bonito’s love of using real explosions, Reiné tried to keep the fight scenes as realistic as possible. Also, Linwood is actually a Marine for the entire movie, which just seems more appropriate given the title.

Reflection: The Marine 3 should team up John Triton and Joe Linwood. Just sayin’.