Mallrats (1995)

Tagline: They’re not there to work. They’re not there to shop. They’re just there.

Curiosity: Sandwiched between financial and critical successes Clerks and Chasing Amy, Mallrats was the black sheep of writer/director/co-star Kevin Smith’s filmography. At least, until Jersey Girl came out.

Plot: When best buds T.S. (Jeremy London) and Brodie (Jason Lee) both get dumped by their girlfriends – Brandi (Claire Forlani) and Rene (Shannon Doherty), respectively – they head to the mall, hoping to drown their lady problems in comic books and soda. At least, Brodie does. T.S. goes along with it because he doesn’t have anything better to do, since his trip to Florida with Brandi (he was gonna propose to her at Universal Studios… right when Jaws pops out of the water!) is now scrapped. Instead, they end up facing their issues head-on. Can T.S. convince Brandi he isn’t a total douche bag and save her from her manipulative father (The Marine 2’s Michael Rooker) and his shitty dating game show? Can Brodie man up and reunite with Rene before scuzzball Shannon (Ben Affleck) screws her in a very uncomfortable place – like the back of a Volkswagen?

Thoughts: Mallrats was my favorite Kevin Smith flick back when I was too young to be watching Kevin Smith flicks, by which I mean I thought it was his funniest movies. Nowadays, it’s slipped a few notches – Clerks II nicely balances humor and story, however brisk, and Chasing Amy holds up better, even though I find Affleck’s character in that movie to be A) way too socially retarded and B) way too much like me circa high school, right down to the shitty goatee. But that’s off-topic.

Story-wise, Mallrats has a major black hole named “the T.S. and Brandi story arc.” Neither character is as interesting as Brodie and Rene, who are better defined and offer fleeting glimpses of their compatibility. I actually felt pros and cons being listed for Brodie and Rene getting back together. With T.S. and Brandi, though, I’m merely told to believe that they’re perfect for each other without any evidence to back that assertion up. Plus, as the comic sidekick, Lee gets all of the best lines ‘n’ bits while London plays the straight man.

Not that all the bits work. The topless fortune teller scene near the end still makes me nervous, as if my dad is going to burst in at any moment and fuck my day up [NOTE: This stems from the time in eighth grade when my dad really did burst in on my sister and me watching Clerks, specifically during the necrophilia scene.] Also, what the hell is a boob-based business doing in a shopping mall? Other jokes are just too ’90s, like the references to Magic Eye, New Kids on the Block, the idea that Star Wars is good, etc. The film is way too of its time, while I relate to Clerks and Chasing Amy even more in 2010 now that I’ve A) done time in the service industry and B) actually had lady problems of my own.

But just because it’s not a knockout doesn’t mean Mallrats doesn’t deserve “beloved cult classic” status. After his disappointing run in mainstream movies and the needlessly offensive My Name is Earl, rewatching Mallrats reminded me why so many people thought Jason Lee was underrated. Dude is funny. Doherty is pretty good too as the fiery Rene, subverting the “princess trapped in a castle” mold that befalls a lot of love interests in dick ‘n’ fart movies of this caliber (just look at Brandi). Maybe it’s a generational thing, but I’m always glad when Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Smith) show up. So while I don’t love Mallrats as much as I did when I was 13, I’m also still glad it exists. Plus, the soundtrack rocks – Elastica, Bush, Girls Against Boys, and Weezer! Yes!

Reflection: So who’s “my John Hughes” – Kevin Smith or Judd Apatow? Smith is better at integrating music – a key Hughes-like quality – but Apatow has handled emotion better with works like Freaks and Geeks and The 40-Year-Old Virgin. Could Heavyweights be the tie-breaker?