Iron Man 2 (2010)

Tagline: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! [NOTE: This is not the real tagline]

Curiosity: You mean besides the fact that it’s the sequel to one of my fave-o-rite movies? Howsabout the fact that it stars amazing actors Robert Downey Jr., Mickey Rourke, and Don Cheadle, as characters who beat the shit out of each other with robot armor. Fuck. Yes.

Plot: Iron Man 2 picks up where the original left off, with millionaire/genius/superhero Tony Stark (Downey) admitting at a press conference that he’s Iron Man. One guy watching the feed, Ivan Vanko (Rourke), isn’t too stoked on this revelation. Well, he is to the extent that now he’s more motivated to destroy Stark because his dad fucked with his dad. Sins of the father!

MEANWHILE…

Tony is getting picked on by the government because they realized they’re not as cool as Iron Man. Senator Gary Shandling (played with lifelike zeal by the real Shandling!) and competing weapons manufacturer Justin Hammer (Sam Rockwell) try to beat Tony up using words, but words can’t hurt Iron Man! Or… can they…?

MEANWHILE…

While Tony’s arc reactor prevents shrapnel from penetrating his heart, it’s also slowly poisoning him. BFFs “Rhodey” Rhodes (Cheadle) and Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) don’t know, so they act like dicks to him.

MEANWHILE…

Tony frets about his legacy and all of the events mentioned above, but he also really, really wants to bone redheaded hottie Natalie Rushman (Scarlett Johansson). Will he?!

Thoughts: With a movie like Iron Man 2, it’s important to note upfront that I enjoyed it. I say this because I gots myself a ton of stuff to complain about. Like…

• The film’s weird knack for ripping off iconic moments from flicks like Ghostbusters and Predator (also National Treasure, of all fucking things).
  
  
• Johansson is pretty irrelevant/useless until the last 20 minutes. And even then she’s still not that helpful.
  
  
• I wanted more Rourke. Vanko/Whiplash is one badass scientist-y guy, and I really wanted to see him fuck shit up more often.
  
  
• …that being said, what the hell was up with Vanko’s subplot about loving parrots? Rourke had to argue with the studio to get the bird included, and the Internet in turn freaked the fuck out, but having seen the movie, I find all the reactions unwarranted. Had people not been so adamant one way or the other about this topic, I don’t think I’d have even noticed it in the film.
  
  
• Ehhhh… Iron Man is kind of a dick in this movie. But he’s a great DJ!
  
  
• This time around the film’s hints regarding an Avengers film were too much. Why can’t I just enjoy the movie I’m watching right now?

Alright, this bitching session is done. Iron Man 2 is still mostly all about explosions and robot suits and Downey being one cool customer. I loved all the principles, even though Johansson doesn’t do much. I even dug the meta humor over how Cheadle doesn’t look anything like Terrance Howard (who played Rhoadie in the first Iron Man). Downey and Paltrow have great chemistry, making their rapid fire back-and-forth moments some of the strongest scenes in the movie. Rockwell and Rourke are great villains as well. I’ve already covered how much I dug Rourke, but I need to give Rockwell credit for playing an excellent counter to Rourke. Whiplash is motivated by vengeance; his original plan against Tony didn’t have him surviving either. Hammer, however, is less serious, more motivated by money, and a total wiener in the best, funniest way possible. He’s clearly a bad guy, but Rockwell plays him as if he were a real corporate head, which is both bitterly funny and a nice anchor when mixed with all of the sweet, sweet explosions.

While Iron Man 2 isn’t quite as fun as the original – those middle scenes where Tony is dying aren’t exactly uplifting – it still delivers on the promises of Iron Man without ruining its legacy. It’s not an X2 or Dark Knight, but it’s still good. Whether or not it will translate to a successful Avengers movie remains to be seen.

Reflection: My friends and I got ice cream afterwards. That was fun too.