Tagline: Back by bodacious demand.
Curiosity: That was fun the last time. Let’s do it again!
Plot: Set shortly after the events of the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Secret of the Ooze finds the turtles and Splinter living with April (now played by Paige Turco, who kind of sucks). However, with evidence that the Foot Clan survives, the group heads back to the sewers to establish a new base. The Shredder (David McCharen) is alive and pissed as heck, and he plans to use the mutagen that created the Ninja Turtles to breed his own mutant army.
And the whole got-damn time, Keno the pizza boy (Ernie Rayes Jr.) is the only one who does any got-damn martial arts.
Thoughts: Everyone I know talks about how Secret of the Ooze is so funny, but no one ever mentions that it sucks balls. The action is too toned down. Casey Jones is gone! The bad guys can’t accomplish shit. A decent chunk of the characters were recast, with the most distracting being April and Donatello (Corey Feldman did not return to the role, sadly). And it’s so dumb that Keno is the only one who gets to do actual fighting. The turtles’ hijinks takes on a frustratingly manic tone this time around.
Gaaah, but Ooze has some great lines, like “It’s quiet.” “Yeah, a little too quiet.” “It’s Raph!” “Yeah, a little too Raph.” And let’s be honest, the scene at the end where Vanilla Ice freestyles “Ninja Rap” is pretty great. As inane as it gets at times, the slapstick humor makes me laugh a lot, especially in the first scene. It is all the evidence you need to argue for or against stunt casting, but why the filmmakers thought Vanilla Ice’s fans would crossover with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is beyond me.
But compared to the original, which was funny and action-packed and kind of, well, good, Secret of the Ooze suffers. Put it this way: I legitimately enjoy the original movie. The sequel, however, is best viewed from an ironic distance.
Reflection: I just wish they would let Keno do his thing, is all.
No comments:
Post a Comment