Tagline: Earth: Out-numbered. Out-monstered. Out-done. It’s great because two of those words don’t need to be hyphenated, and I’m pretty sure I could use “out-monstered” enough to make it a real word. Example: “Man, I’m not sure who is out-monstering who in this healthcare debate.” Topical!
Curiosity: It’s the final Godzilla film… for a while, and Toho tried to cram as many monsters into this sabbatical as possible.
Plot: An international strike force of superhuman soldiers called the Earth Defense Force has been set up to protect the world from monsters. The EDF successfully traps Godzilla in ice in the South Pole and destroys Manda, this giant serpentine dragon thingy, and are about to take out super-lobster Ebirah when aliens (!!!) come from outer space (!!!) and beam Ebirah and all the other planet’s monsters away (???). That was nice of them.
Except it was actually anti-nice! These aliens, called Xiliens, are secretly plotting to eat the human race! And they can control any monsters with the M-gene (pretty much er’rybody but Godzilla, Minilla, and Mothra)! It’s up to the surviving members of the EDF, led by Captain Gordon (Fake Tom Selleck), to stop the aliens and the monsters. But how? Could they…? Would they…? FREE GODZILLA?!
Thoughts: While it’s not a perfect film, Godzilla: Final Wars is pretty dang awesome. Sure, 125 minutes is a long time to put up with the Matrix-biting fight scenes from the humans, and the monster battles are at times a little too brief, but c’mon – it’s still Godzilla laying down the smack’em yack’em on chumps. Some of the monsters, like Manda and King Caeser, haven’t been seen for like 30 years, so it’s dorktastically delicious to have them back again. Better yet, we get to see Godzilla take on the American Godzilla, a.k.a. GINO (Godzilla in Name Only), a.k.a Zilla here:
Of course, the film is not without its hilariously bad moments. The original Japanese language performance is riddled with random English outbursts – “Sorry, I’m a vegetarian,” “Well, I kind of like this face,” and “Watch it, X-Man” come to mind. Fake Tom Selleck sports an awesome sword (and moustache) that he never uses. My favorite moment is the band redubbing for an American cop. To avoid an R rating, his repeated use of the f-bomb was toned down… with words that don’t synch up with his over-enunciating whatsoever.
While the film doesn’t include every Godzilla monster – Mecha- and SpaceGodzilla are missed; Biolante, not so much – Final Wars is a treat for fans.
Reflection: Were they being sarcastic with that Sum 41 song?
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