The Omega Man (1971)

Tagline: Pray for the last man alive. Because he’s not alone.

Curiosity: It’s Charlton Heston in an adaptation of I Am Legend. Surely this should be the best thing ever.

Plot: In the not-too-distant future (1975), China and the Soviet Union kill er’rybody. Not only that, they did it with somewhat questionable biological weapons. The kind of weapons that turns people into homicidal albinos. The effects of this fallout have reached the whole dang world. In Los Angeles, California, there lives one last man (the Omega Man, if you will). His name is Dr. Robert Neville (Heston) and he is a military scientist. While he’s developed a vaccine to prevent/reverse the albinozation, there’s no one left to immunize. And he sure ain’t sharing it with Matthias (Anthony Zerbe) and his bloodthirsty, technology-averse cult called the Family. Neville settles into a life of killing hyper-whitey, when he meets Lisa (Rosalind Cash), a totally-not-albino person. Could there be survivors? Is there a portion of the human population that isn’t thoroughly crazy? Can an Omega Man and an Omega Woman Omega Do It?

Thoughts: SPOILER ALERT: Heston ain’t the Omega Man. There are several men in this movie, so I call shenanigans. That said, The Omega Man is a solid post-apocalyptic movie once it gets going, although it has a few hurtles to clear before that point. For starters, the Family always knows where Neville lives. but never does much with that information They refuse to use anything more technologically advanced than a catapult (literally), although they are huge fans of fire. Clearly, the easiest way to kill Neville would be to set his fucking house on fire and then walk away. Apparently, that never occurs to anyone, so they try way more complicated, way less successful methods. Also, the soundtrack could double as ’70s porn music. So, there that is.

Once the film gets beyond its introductory elements, though, The Omega Man shines. Given that it and Will Smith’s I Am Legend share source material, it’s obvious to compare the two. Smith’s Neville is a bit more unhinged, whereas Heston plays him as a cantankerous, yet humorous, survivor. He’s aware of his crappy situation, but even though he talks to himself a ton and occasionally hallucinates, he still cracks wise even though no one can hear him. I suppose that helps him stay sane.

No filmmaker has been able to perfectly adapt Richard Matheson’s original novel, and The Omega Man is no exception. Vampires are replaced with… white people. The ending is softened considerably, although at least these filmmakers had the good sense to change the title. As much as I enjoyed Smith’s performance in I Am Legend, changing the story’s ending renders the title useless.

Reflection: Heston’s hairy, non-muscular chest totally built up my self-esteem. I would have been a real lady killer in the ’70s. That’s assuming sweatiness is proportional to sexiness, if not a downright contributor to it.