Beverly Hills Ninja (1997)

Tagline: Kung fool! Ha ha get it?!

Curiosity: I’m still trying to figure out why people love Chris Farley. Also, Mortal Kombat star Robin Shou has a supporting role. Mortal freaking Kombat, with the fatalities and the techno and the punching Goro in the balls.

Plot: As a baby, Haru (Farley) was rescued by a ninja clan. While they initially suspect that he might fulfill an ancient prophecy about a foreigner who goes on to become a master ninja, time reveals Haru to be a clumsy, obese, and poor student. Still, his sensei, named Sensei (Soon-Tek Oh), tries to take care of Haru as best he can. So, when Haru leaves for Beverly Hills to investigate a murder mystery at the behest of buxom beauty Sally Jones (Nicollette Sheridan), Sensei sends his best pupil, Gobei (Shou), to look after him. Given that A) Haru is not a good ninja and B) Sally Jones may or may not be bullshitting about her name. Will Haru ever become a ninja master? Will he be able to stop Sally’s baddie boyfriend Martin Tanley (Nathaniel Parker)? Will fattie fall down go boom?

Thoughts: At this point, I’ve logged about 70 films for SNC. All of them were of questionable taste in one way or another, but some were just so got-damned hilarious or action-packed that I would have watched them whether or not I meant to comment on them. Not so with Beverly Hills Ninja, a film that I struggled through entirely because of this blog. I know Tommy Boy is revered in some circles, but Jesus Christ on Hot Cross Buns, who the hell thinks Farley’s shtick is amusing 24/7? Don’t get me wrong; he could be funny in small doses. But his reliance on lame site gags and physical comedy could never sustain a leading role in a full-length film. He was never exactly Peter Sellers.

Then again, I’ve read that Farley wasn’t happy with Beverly Hills Ninja, so I suppose I can cut him a little slack here. After all, he didn’t write the damned thing. He didn’t necessarily come up with the hacky, quasi-racist premise. At the same time, though, it’s hard for me to separate this from any of his other material. Pretty much every Farley role consisted of a “fat guy + job” formula (See: fat cop in Airheads, fat roadie in Wayne’s World 2, fat North American frontiersman looking to best Lewis and Clark in Almost Heroes). Oddly enough, I can only think of one role – his last – where his weight had nothing to do with his character, that being his supporting turn in Dirty Work.

Reflection: There is no reflection. Only hate.