Rambo III (1988)

Tagline: God would have mercy. John Rambo won’t!

Curiosity: I wanted to see the movie justify its dedication to “the gallant people of Afghanistan.” Some things just don’t age well.

Plot: John Rambo (Sylvester Stallone) has finally found piece, living and working at a monastery in Thailand. Colonel Sam Trautman (Richard Crenna) seeks him out for help dealing with Russian aggression in Afghanistan by arming local insurgents, but Rambo turns him down. Trautman pursues the mission on his own, but is captured by the Ruskies. Embassy leader Robert Griggs (Kurtwood Smith) informs Rambo of the situation, and he decides to kick some Russian booty. Along the way, he makes friends with Afghani terrorists, does some super manly stuff, and learns about sheep-related sports.

Thoughts: Why does Rambo like Trautman so much? He’s kind of a dick to Rambo in First Blood and totally useless in Rambo: First Blood Part II. Yet here the two are, trading jokes and longing embraces. It’s hard to comprehend their relationship, but then again, I’ve never done military service. Plus, the movie would be a lot shorter/more boring if it consisted solely of Rambo meditating in Thailand.

A lot of people have cracked wise about Rambo fighting alongside “the terrorists,” but honestly, it’s not that bad. If anything, the film is ridiculous for pegging the Russian government as some sort of evil organization of supervillain proportions. By the time the film came out, Russia was already opening up to the West. Oh, and collapsing. That too.

Thus, the terrorist subplot is interesting to me not because it’s silly post-9/11, but because it’s awfully prophetic. Trautman directly compares military involvement in the Middle East to the Vietnam War. Various Afghani characters tell Rambo that they’ll fight foreigners to the death because they have nothing else to do. There’s a bit of dialogue about how the terrorists aren’t afraid to die because they think of themselves as already dead. Therefore, killing their enemies is the best of their limited options. I immediately thought of suicide bombers. Granted, all of this goes down while the U.S. government is arming said terrorists, but the film is far more profound in the aughties than it ever was in the eighties. It spells out just how stupid invading the Middle East would be. Rambo III is secretly the most liberal of the “Rambo” movies.

Of course, the movie also has a decent amount of action. OK, “decent” might be an understatement, given that Rambo III held the record for the most violent film ever made, with 221 acts of violence, over 70 explosions, and over 108 characters killed on-screen. The film that beat those numbers? Its sequel, Rambo.

Reflection: I can’t believe one of the most violent films of all time ends with this song: